Why Do People Assume I Have Cancer Just Because I Wear Scarves Over My Short Hair?

I am a woman who chooses to wear my hair very short, and I like to tie scarves and bandannas around my head. I cannot tell you how many times someone has assumed that I have cancer! Strangers walk right up to me and ask how my treatment is going. Last week, I was at a show wearing a pretty bandanna, and a woman came over to me, hugged me and said, “God bless you!” I asked her why, and she replied: “Your cancer journey!” I told her calmly that sometimes people have short hair and don’t have cancer. I think this is egregious behavior, and I’m tired of it. Advice?

HEALTHY

For years, I have written that making comments — even compliments — about the appearance of strangers is unwise. Tall strangers know that they are tall, for instance, yet they may feel self-conscious about it. So why bring it up? And how many more women who carry weight around their midsections need to be congratulated on nonexistent pregnancies before we learn to keep our mouths shut? We know nothing about the lives of strangers, and to speak as if we do is presumptuous.

Still, timing is everything. Last week, a close friend underwent an eight-hour surgery to remove most of a malignant brain tumor. Afterward, my heart went out to all the people I saw with short hair and kerchiefs, even though I knew absolutely nothing about their health. I didn’t say anything to them, of course — just as no one should say anything to you.

But it feels wrong to take people to task for misplaced compassion, doesn’t it? Some people who approach you may have been deeply affected by cancer. Do you really want to snap at them? I wish we could prevent people from making assumptions, but we can’t. So when you next receive an empathetic comment in error, your best response is probably to tamp down your impatience — which is hard, I know — and to say that, thankfully, you are healthy.

Down the Aisle, Three Abreast

Our daughter is getting married next year, and I have long envisioned myself the proud father walking her down the aisle. But she says that she wants both me and her mother, my wife of 40 years, to walk with her. It’s been at least 20 years since I went to a wedding, but her request seems wrong to me, and I feel disappointed and hurt. Should I tell her?

FATHER OF THE BRIDE

Traditions evolve. And this particular one has sexist roots. English fathers have been walking their daughters down the aisle since at least the 16th century to symbolize the transfer of legal and financial responsibility for the bride from themselves to the groom. The phrase “giving away the bride” itself suggests that she was property to be conveyed.

Yet this aisle walk remains one of the seminal images of a wedding. In recent decades, it’s become common for fathers to be joined by mothers — or for a sibling or a close friend to accompany the bride, or for the bride to walk herself down the aisle. I understand your disappointment: The moment won’t be precisely as you imagined it. But I think it’s lovely for you and your wife to escort the woman you raised together to this milestone. I hope you can get comfortable with it, too.

Can’t You Grow Somewhere Else?

My partner schedules her virtual therapy for weekdays at 8 a.m., before her workday begins. Since the subject of her therapy is often me, it’s uncomfortable for her to do sessions at home while I’m getting ready for work. So, she does them in the driveway in her car. But there’s no way for me to leave the house without walking past her, which is jarring. Is it unreasonable to ask her to choose a different time or place?

PARTNER

You are not the main character in your partner’s therapy; she is. It’s wise of her to do sessions outside your shared home, where you might overhear her. But your objection to walking past a session in progress seems self-important to me. By that logic, she should also keep the day and time of her sessions secret so you are spared the distress of knowing that she may be discussing your relationship. Let this go — or figure out why you’re so uncomfortable with your partner’s therapy.

A Clear (if Plasticky) Communicator

For years, I aspired to own a lamination device. A few months ago, I finally bought one. Among other things, I want to laminate my regular orders at the local bagel shop and deli. I am frequently obliged to shout my order several times before employees understand me — and still mistakes are made. But when I shared my plan with friends, they were appalled, saying that it was dehumanizing to hand employees written orders. (One even called it a “social abomination”!) Your thoughts?

THE LAMINATOR

Far be it from me to stand between you and the lamination device of your dreams. You may safely avoid demeaning shop employees by greeting them when you enter and by thanking them when you leave. They may find it odd to be handed laminated orders — but probably not rude.

For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on X.