‘Thought I’d meet her again’: Govinda recalls walking into Narmada River after mother’s death | Bollywood News
4 min readNew DelhiAug 9, 2026 03:30 PM IST
Sunita Ahuja has said multiple times that in her next birth, she would pray to have Govinda as her son, owing to the immense love he has always had for his mother. Now, Govinda has opened up about his close bond with his mother, Nirmala Devi, and revealed how her death left him in a deeply distressed state. Govinda’s mother passed away in 1996. The grief of losing her was so overwhelming that the actor once walked into the Narmada River, believing that he would somehow “meet” her again.
Speaking to ANI, Govinda recalled the pain he experienced at the time. He said, “I was in a lot of pain. I was in tremendous pain. At that point, I felt that everything was over; that was it.” Recalling the incident, he said, “So, I was at the Narmada River. I thought I would go a little farther into the river and that I would meet my mother again. So, I went into the river.”
When asked whether he was feeling suicidal at the time, Govinda said, “Kind of. I was deeply attached to my mother. I was too much in love with her.” However, he said he did not view his actions as an attempt to end his life. “That’s what the world calls it. People use suicide-type of words. We don’t really have anything like that. Life never ends. It takes on new faces; it takes on new forms,” he said.
Govinda recalled that a priest, whom he now remembers as Ram Kundal, approached him while he was in the river and helped him come out. “He called out to me and came towards me. I came out of the river and he asked, ‘What happened, Govinda?’”
The actor said the encounter made him realise that he was doing something wrong. “I realised someone said to me at that time that I was doing something wrong. And I learned a lesson. I realised that I have to live for my children.”
Govinda said it took him more than 15 days to come out of that state of mind and find a different purpose in life. Soon, his perspective on films, acting and stardom also changed.
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“Films are just like toys for me. I shouldn’t say this. I am saying it out of fear of God. Forgive me if I shouldn’t be saying this, and if I am offending anyone. But I believe that films, acting, stardom, heroism, all of it, is a manifestation of God. Whatever we have received, we have received from God, and we are simply acting in it. We have seen all of this, and we were able to experience it,” he said, explaining his changed outlook.
He further reflected on what he considers his greatest achievement. “The real achievement for me was that I could serve my family and my mother. I could fulfil all the wishes she had imagined for me, what she had thought her son Govinda would achieve when he turned 21. That was her dream. And I was able to fulfil it. I saw true heroism in that part of my life. That is a very different way of looking at things.”
Nirmala Devi was a renowned Hindustani classical vocalist and actress. She passed away on June 15, 1996, at the age of 69.
On the work front, Govinda is currently promoting his upcoming film Roopa, which stars newcomer Komal Rani Swarnkar.
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Disclaimer: This article reflects personal experiences and reflective storytelling surrounding grief and emotional distress. It is intended for informational and narrative purposes only and does not constitute psychological or medical advice. Readers experiencing distress are encouraged to reach out to a mental health professional.
